Direct answer
Because until you become aware of and name the feeling, it controls and dominates you. There is a space between the problem and the solution that must be lived; jumping straight to solving prevents you from digesting the emotion and making truly conscious decisions.
Awareness before solution
Joyce recalls a Buddhist principle: until you name the feeling, it dominates you. First you become aware, then you name it — only then can you understand and cope.
- Often the feeling is so new that we don't even know what it is.
- Andrea applies this at home, pausing to breathe with her son and name what he feels.
The space between problem and solution
Very practical people rush to solve. But there's an interval that must be inhabited:
- You already know the solution — we've been raised since childhood to reach it.
- What's missing is making the path lighter by allowing yourself to feel.
- A decision made without awareness of what you feel tends to be misguided.